Thursday, July 5, 2012

Happy 5th of July

Lol! I started a blog entry yesterday titled "Happy 4th of July & a Q" but the title is all the further I got! Oops!
I was going to wish you all a happy & safe 4th. Hope it turned out that way for everyone! How did you celebrate?
This year, we went to our friends' house for a cookout, which was happily, indoors! It's been way too hot to spend time outside, though I was prepared. I'd scrounged around & found the only pair of shorts I'm willing to go in public in that still fit over my slightly bulging belly... barely. I'm thinking I'm going to have to head to Goodwill soon & see if I can find any that fit better. I also was covered in sunblock. Oh well. :P
We had a great time, ate lots of (too much!) good food & watched the kiddos run around wearing each other out. amber laid down way late for her nap. I usually try to lay her down between noon & 1, and usually, if it's after 3 when she goes down, she's cranky the rest of the evening regardless. It was after 3, but she did pretty well last night. We had a good discussion about fireworks & how she didn't need to be scared of them, even though they're loud & amazingly enough, she went right to sleep & we didn't hear a peep from her despite the whole fireworks show!

Now, the question I was thinking about...
So, I have a huge family on my dad's side. He was the oldest of six & only one of those six didn't have kids, and my dad's the only one who only had one. So, I have well over a dozen cousins, especially if you count the step-cousins & such... now, the majority of us are married (or in a stable relationship) and having kids of our own. It's a lot of people to keep track of!
We aren't all particularly close. Dad's siblings & now some of their kids & my grandpa, too, are constantly getting in fights with one another. I've mostly removed myself from the drama. It wasn't conscious at first; I just knew I dreaded most of the visits Dad said we needed to make to maintain the relationship bank (as he termed it.) Once I was an adult & working on college & so forth, I didn't make as much effort. When he died suddenly in 2007, they all came together for me & were very supportive. It wasn't completely drama-free, but they were respectful & helpful.
Don't get me wrong, I love my family.... just not the drama. So, in the 5 years since his passing, I've been more conscious in distancing myself. I'll talk to any of my family members, regardless of whichever other family members they may or may not be talking with, but I don't make much effort to put myself out there. There are some I've made more effort to keep in touch with because I've been closer to them through the years (&/or they use facebook more!) and others I've been particularly frustrated with and made less effort towards contacting them.
I didn't mean to make this such a long thing, but felt that a little more background would be in order.
So, the situation I'm wondering about... I have three step-cousins. I'm not really related to them by blood at all, but they're close to my age & the middle of the three was a good friend in HS as we found we were rather kindred spirits. We've lost touch & come back together a few times in the following decade, and now she actually lives almost walking distance (if the weather were nicer!!) from me. We've tried to plan a get-together quite a few times & she just tends to be too busy. I was about to lose hope, but my aunt says she's not blowing me off, that she really is that busy & they don't even get to see her that often either.
She just had her first baby a little over a week ago. I'm trying to retain my optimism that she wants to have a relationship with me and I messaged her asking her to let me know when she feels up to having visitors. I haven't heard back yet. I decided to make a gift for her new daughter. Another one of the pillows with the birth stats. I've seen pics of the nursery, so I picked colors based on that.
My question comes to this... her little sister had a daughter close to two years ago (or three?) and I can't remember if I got her a gift, but I know I didn't do anything handmade. What do you think? Should I make her one as well & just try to ignore the awkwardness of it being years late? Should I just go with making the one I've already started & say that I'd be happy to make another if her sister (or any other family members, for that matter) wants one?

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